I Caught a Lizard!!

You won't believe it, but its true. I totally caught a lizard on Sunday.

I was about to take a shower, when I was startled to find that I was not the only one in the tub. A small iridescent little fellow, with a few green and orange spots. I keep my calm, and go and get my camera. I also call for my roommate, who is terrified of lizards, to come and help me catch him.

"No!" she yells from the living room.

"But how am I gonna get him?" I yell back.

"SPRAY HIM WITH RAID!!" She yells cruelly. Sammy wouldn't hurt a fly, but apparently she digs cruel and unusual punishment for reptiles.

Now, I can definitely not spray this poor guy in raid. I decide I must try to catch him with something, but lizards are fast, and can climb on anything, so its risky as I might end up with a lizard climbing up my arm. I settle on a the giant container of Quaker Oats that is practically empty. I dump the oats into bowl for safe keeping, and head back to the bathroom. The lizard is waiting for me, and so is my roommate who has emerged to watch the scene, but from a distance. I stand over the tub and try to get the lizard to move so I can slam the container over him. He runs, and I move,but a bit of the remaining oats slip out and the unexpected movement startles me and I shriek, which causes my lizard-hating-roommate to scream even louder and she backs out of the project.."I'm sorry, I need to leave, I can't do this..EVERYMAN FOR HIMSELF!"

Now it was just me and the lizard, and I manage to pluck up my courage. My roommate had suggested that I open the window just in case I want to throw it out (remember, she is also the one who wanted to spray him with raid). I did just that, not actually thinking I would resort to throwing it out the window. I got the lizard to move again, and slammed the Quaker Oats box over him, scooped him up, covered him half way with the lid, screaming "I CAUGHT THE LIZARD!!!" and promptly throw his ass out the window. The smiling Quaker with the lizard inside went sailing down the 5 stories and I never saw him again. But I am sure he is okay.

The Quotable Qur'an

Today I spent some time memorizes a few passages from the Qur'an. I figure that it is about time that I fully commit to memory some of the passages that I spend so much time learning about. Before I can say I properly understand this complex religion, I had better try reading, understanding, and being able to accurately repeat the words. During my days with my tutor, I began to learn how to recite the holy scripture, as there is a whole art and science to it. She gave me some advice to keep in mind while learning reading/reciting the Qur'an:

1. Have Patience
2. Be Diligent
3. Listen to recordings
4. Don't be proud, you will make mistakes, and you have to accept that.
5. Have a specific goal in mind.

I thought this was good advice for any student, of any subject. I memorized two suras, or passages, before I had to end my lessons. But on my own, I have taken to practicing some of the messages of the Qur'an that I have always learned about, but never fully discovered in its true Arabic form. Specifically, these are on Islam's essential tolerance for other religions, and its encouragement of peaceful religious diversity.I apologize for my awkward English translations, but I think you'll get the point.

"This is the truth from your Lord; then he who will, let him believe, and he who will not, let him disbelieve." - from al-Kahf

"To the unbelievers: I do not worship as you worship, nor do you worship as I worship. I do not worship those that you worship, nor do you worship Him Whom I worship; that is because you follow one faith and I follow another faith." -from al-Kafiroon

"There is no compulsion in religion." -from al-Baqarah

I write these words over and over, I listen to the recordings of the revered sheikhs recite these words, and I practice my own recitations to fully cement these sayings in my mind. I try to maintain my patience, my diligence, make sure to listen to the sounds, and I believe after four years of studying one of the hardest languages, I have almost lost all my pride. As for my goal? I keep that ahead of me always. My goal is to be prepared to speak up in a taxi cab if an ignorant driver tries to tell me that I have to convert (hasn't happened, but I'm prepared if it does.) More importantly, my goal is spread to the word to non-Muslims that this is what Islam says, this is what the religion of our brothers and sisters teaches, and I know because I have read the text. I know its complicated, and its up to interpretation. But there are only so many ways that you can interprete "Unto me, my religion, and unto you, your religion". I don't care if you catch me at a party, at the library, or at the corner Walgreens. If I hear you talking about the religious intolerance of the Islamic faith, prepare to get a earful. In Arabic. And I will be citing the Qur'an in my footnotes.

Dialogue with a Harasser

Pauline: Salaam alaykum. Do you know where the Conrad Hotel is?

Taxi Driver: Conrad Hotel? Yes I know

Pauline: Great! You know you are the first taxi driver I have found who knows where it is! It must be because you are clever (always try to suck up to the driver so they will not try to rip you off)

Taxi Driver: (Beaming and checking me out in the rear-view mirror) Where are you from?

Pauline: From America, but I live here (i.e. I may be white but I'm not a tourist)

Taxi Driver: Are you married (What an original question! Its not like I get asked that by every driver)

Pauline: Yes I am.

Taxi Driver: To an American?

Pauline: No. I am married to an Egyptian. (first of many lies)

Taxi Driver: ohhhhh you are so beautiful. (i find it hilarious that he even bothered to ask me if I was married, as if that would deter any leering.

Pauline: Yes that's what my husband thinks.

Taxi Driver: Ohhhh soooo beautiful, so sweet. You should divorce your husband and marry me.

Now I ignore him for a bit, look at the window. But he continues with the harassment. Finally, when he reattempts the marriage offer, I shout at him, "Shame on you!! You know that I am married, and you know that this is inappropriate and disrespectful, shame on you!!"

Taxi Driver: Why? (AS IF!!!)

Pauline: Let me ask you, do you have sisters?

Taxi Driver: Yes.

Pauline: (now that I am riled up and have this guy in a confined space where he can't get away, I ask the question that we have always wanted to ask hooting and harassing men on the street. "How would you feel if a taxi driver was telling your married sister that she is SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL..... ohhhhhh YOU ARE SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL" and I use my best caveman voice to really convey my opinion of his type.

Pauline: "You know every day I have to deal with you men harassing me and telling me I am beautiful and I am so tired of it. I am sick of it! (It felt good to actually be able to tell one of these guys off. I think he was beginning to regret picking me up)

Taxi Driver: (seems to get my point, and avoids answering the sister question) "No but, you are beautiful, and what do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that you are ugly? Fine, you are the ugliest girl I have ever seen. SO UGLY!!"

Pauline: (can't help but smile) "That's better. But you know, why do you have to even comment on a girl's appearance. You know men shouldn't just see woman as either beautiful or ugly. They are more than just their looks. Women have minds you know, and...

Taxi Driver: (cutting me off) "And women have spirits"

Pauline: "Very good! Yes, women have minds, spirits, and are more than just a pretty/ugly face. (cue "The More you Know" music)

We arrive to my destination, and I think we both feel better about how the ride started out. He even apologized, and said that I was very nice and had the personality of one of his sisters. Hopefully he will start to see other women as his sisters also, and remember to treat them as such. Poor guy probably wasn't prepared for the ear-full he got, but hey, he started it.

About a George who was actually a good President

I like to think of Independence Day as a sort of Thanksgiving-for-the-Founding Fathers-Day. Because while I love fireworks, and making flag-cakes, what I aim to do on the fourth of July is to thank those men and women who made both the dream and the reality of the United States of America. I think that both the dream and the reality are important, because the dream was once articulated in 1776 with Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence. “ We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” This was the dream, but it took hundreds of years and plenty of bloodshed before the reality of equality and liberty were the rights of all Americans.

Despite some of the imperfections and contradictions of the government of our founding fathers (note that one such imperfection is the lack of mothers in this group), they certainly got a few things rights. I feel extremely lucky for a number of these concepts which have become pillars in our system, but there is one democratic tradition for which I am particularly grateful, especially because I live in a land desperately needing democracy. This tradition is that of a peaceful transition of power, and one whose importance can be easily demonstrated by two stories.

First, I will tell you a story as old as time itself. People are tyrannized by the cruel hand of a despot. Revolution begins to swell, eventually coming under the leadership of a charismatic hero. Revolution succeeds, and war hero becomes new leaders, promising peace, justice and an end to tyranny. Leader becomes mad with power, refuses to step down, and eventually becomes a dictator.

This vicious cycle is common world-wide, on every continent, and in every culture. I am currently living in a country which has witnessed this exact same cycle, and which is currently still waiting for another round of independence from its current round of revolutionary government-turned dictatorship.




Now, let me tell you another story. People are tyrannized by the unfair hand of a king. Revolution begins to swell, eventually coming under the leadership of a charismatic General. Revolution succeeds, and war hero, George Washington, becomes first President of a new nation. He ruled for two terms, carried the nation through its first fragile years, and then he retired to the countryside. By doing so, he effectively established the American tradition of a peaceful and predictable transition of power, and forever placed him high on my list of Americans that I thank on this day.

Poor Egypt. Poor Pakistan. Poor Zimbabwe. And pity any nation who has suffered through taxing and bloody revolutions only to realize that the new leaders are just as corrupt as the old. The United Sates is far from the shining light on the hill that our current delusional president likes to pretend, but we certainly can be a model for some democratic traditions. Thanks to the courage and selflessness of George Washington, Americans can have routine regime change without shedding blood. Thanks to our first president, I can look forward to November. There are enough examples of how easy it is for heroes to become dictators, but I am grateful that Washington took the hard road, stepped down, and made our country something I can be proud of.

Just Another Day of Research/Pilates

I recently realized that I haven't really blogged about any of my specific research. I am sure many of you are wondering, "what is it exactly that you do?" Well, in my efforts to learn about women community leaders here in Cairo, I have many different strategies. But one of the strongest, is simply calling, e-mailing, and stalking the various women that I want to interview. When a new friend told me about a woman who is both a Fitness Entrepreneur and Dance Guru, I thought she would be a perfect addition to my research. What I didn't realize is what I would be signing myself up for to get the interview.

(Pauline calls the studio to try and get an appointment)

Pauline: "Hi, My name is Pauline and I am an American Writer and Fulbright Fellow, and I would like to speak with Ms. Samia" (Note, I have started to call myself a writer, because I have learned that people are skeptical of researchers. I think they think of test tubes and bibliographies and want nothing to do with that. Writers are cool and win Pulitzers and make breaking stories and make people famous. And okay, so maybe I am not quite a Writer with a capital W, maybe just one who writes)

Office Assistant: "Hi, well to be honest, Samia is extremely busy. The best way to get a hold of her is to take one of her classes. Why don't you come in tomorrow morning for the Kujo class."

Pauline: "Okay great, thank you so much. But, what is 'kujo?'

O. Assistant: "Its a high impact class. See you tomorrow!" click

High Impact? What on earth did I get myself into? I am an athletic person, but I certainly have not done any martial arts, and I don't like to make a fool of myself in front of the person I am trying to interview. Normally one tries to present oneself as a professional, cool, calm and respectable individual. Being a sweaty, stumbling, awkwardly high impact fool kinda ruins that image. But, it was my ticket to meeting her, and I was prepared to do anything.

At 9:15 on Monday Morning, I arrive at the studio. I am awkwardly dressed for an interview, because I felt I should look nice for the first impression at least. But now I just feel stupid standing in black pants and a dress shirt in the middle of a fitness center, surrounded by young and middle aged women in spandex ready for their date with high impact. I brought clothes to change into, but didn't have my shoes because I had left them at my gym. (I think I was secretly looking for a reason to sit out and maybe just chat with her afterwards) I was told I could watch the class, and then come back on Thursday for a Pilates class. But I caught my first glimpse of my target, and I was amazed.

Dressed in black and yellow, and as energetic as a bumblebee, Samia was mesmerizing. She led the class in fast past aerobics (okay, so no martial arts)and could probably dance circles around Billy Blanks. I couldn't wait to come back.

This morning, I arrived at the studio at 10:20. I give the front desk my guest pass, stroll into the locker room, and change into my own spandex and white tee-shirt. Again I am confronted with the issue of appearance for interviews. Am I going to interview her whilst doing abdominal crunches? Lunges? I pull my hair up and resign myself to doing my best to impressing her with my attempts at Pilates, and walk into the mirrored studio.

I head towards the back of the room, and pretty soon the place fills up with women. Egyptian and Foreign, these women seem to run the gambit in terms of age and possible flexibility, so my confidence grows that I won't be the only person unable to wrap my leg around my head. Samia is a vision in white, she walks to the front of the room and begins to lead us in breathing and stretching exercises. As I am sure many of you know, Pilates is much harder than it looks. In general, flexibility is much harder than it looks. Maybe thats the definition of grace, making a difficult task seem extremely easy. I was so focused on mimicking Samia's grace and movements that I didn't even realize that when she extended her leg to grab her foot near her shoulder, that I was trying to do the same, trying to stretch my hamstring in a way which I knew I couldn't do. From this method of doing something before you realized if you could succeed or fail, I discovered a few things that I could do. I can stand like a flamingo on one leg with the other pressed against my thigh, and from there I can keep my hands together in prayer on my chest and bend over to touch my remaining foot on the ground. I also learned that I cannot grab my foot and extend my leg at a 170 degree angle. Shocking.

After learning all of this, and in the meanwhile losing any degree of professionalism that I may have had, we finished the class and I changed for our meeting. Maybe it was because she had just taught me, and we had shared that educational bond which is so unique, or maybe because her grace in dance is also present in her conversation, but the interview was fantastic. She was extremely open, frank, and forthcoming with her own story. I learned that she basically introduced Aerobics to Egypt, that she is a successful entrepreneur, teacher, dancer, choreographer, life coach, and wife and mother. She has revolutionized fitness in Egypt, and she has watched the positive transformation of women in fitness from wanting to lose weight, to wanting to be healthy and fit. "Knowing that I have helped these women change their lives, that is what give me strength and energy." No wonder she has so much energy, as she has helped so many women. Maybe some day even I will get my leg up.